


Fate is a funny thing

by Peachpancake



Series: Only Human [3]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Again, Angst, Anyways, Emotional, Gen, Hope you enjoy, Hurt Chan, M/M, Sorry the rest of the members arent in this, What am I doing, also wtf is the title like, but idk i guess ill still post it, chan is going through a lot ok, for now, god theres so much angst, hopefully ull like it, hurt kinda comfort, i mean it is but like, idk what else to say, injured Chan, it was very rushed and definitely not what i was aiming for, not really tho, prequel to mia and alone, so im a bit unsatisfied, the first time chan had to get a robotic body part, woochan is not really happening here, yet another trash story for the series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-30 02:12:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16755892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peachpancake/pseuds/Peachpancake
Summary: "It was doomed from the start. Chan could almost see it written like a Shakespearean tragedy, with his name in the title to make sure everyone knows what will happen to him. He supposes it would have made a very entertaining play. It might even would’ve made some audience members cry in another universe, where war isn’t the only thing that exists.“Chan, why did you do that -,” Changbin chokes as he desperately holds onto the other’s collar. “I’m the defender, you idiot, why did you do that -,”“I’m okay,” Chan wheezes, and then he’s coughing, something warm in his throat. Changbin reaches to wipe his mouth and even though Chan’s vision is blurry, he can tell that it’s blood. "You guessed it, a prequel to M.I.A. because apparently the only thing I can write is angst?If you haven't read the rest of the series this might not make sense to you.





	Fate is a funny thing

**Author's Note:**

> This has been written in an hour, without being proofread and it probably doesn't even make sense. Drop a comment if you liked it though, I always appreciate them <3

 

 

It was just the three of them. Chan doesn’t want anyone else anyway - he is just fine with their little team called 3racha, taking down all the enemy bases and moving up the ranks with every successful kill. 

 

Although his job is hard, Chan takes pride in the fact that he’s the best healer in their base. He knows deep down that that’s only because of practice - Jisung likes to blow things up, and sometimes (most of the time) he’s not far away enough to come out of the incidents unscratched. And Changbin, well, he takes his job as a defender very seriously. Chan cannot count the amount of times he’s told the younger not to be a human shield during fights, but Changbin never listens, and more often than not, Chan has to be the one stitching him up. 

 

Jisung has always wanted another member though. He always said it’s because he’s growing tired of only seeing Changbin’s triangular headass and Chan’s eye bags that look like they carry all the secrets of the universe in them, but Chan isn’t dense. He sees the worried looks the youngest throws at him when he thinks the leader isn’t looking - the way his eyes scan through his scars and bruises that he doesn’t have time to care for because between taking care of his members and going to meetings with the officials, he doesn’t even have time to blink. But Chan isn’t convinced by the puppy eyes Jisung gives him, and he’s made it clear with the frown on his face whenever the topic is brought up. He knows it makes him look selfish and big-headed, but Chan has long given up on what other people think of him. He will not have another member. 

 

He can’t deal with worrying about someone else as well. 

 

*

 

It was doomed from the start. Chan could almost see it written like a Shakespearean tragedy, with his name in the title to make sure everyone knows what will happen to him. He supposes it would have made a very entertaining play. It might even would’ve made some audience members cry in another universe, where war isn’t the only thing that exists. 

 

“Chan, why did you do that -,” Changbin chokes as he desperately holds onto the other’s collar. “I’m the defender, you idiot, why did you do that -,”

 

“I’m okay,” Chan wheezes, and then he’s coughing, something warm in his throat. Changbin reaches to wipe his mouth and even though Chan’s vision is blurry, he can tell that it’s blood. 

 

“You fucking idiot!” Jisung shouts on his other side, but his words are fuelled not by anger, but fear. “You fucking told Changbin not to be a human shield and then you go and do it?!”

 

“I had to,” Chan breathes. He tries to look at the youngest, but all he sees is grey, so he blindly reaches out towards the other. Warm hands take his own, giving him an almost painful squeeze. “You could’ve died.”

 

“Chan, your arm -,” Changbin whimpers, and Chan is very aware of what the other didn’t say. He’s fighting to stay conscious, but the pain spreading from his right elbow is unbearable, and he finds himself groaning in pain. It feels foreign, to not have something where he should have it. Just thinking about it makes him want to throw up.

 

“Stay awake, Chan,” begs Jisung, holding him tighter. “Don’t you dare go to sleep.”

 

“I’m trying,” Chan muffles, but his eyes are already closing. 

 

“Chan, please…”

 

But the leader has fallen, the darkness surrounding him as he desperately tries to get back.

 

*

 

It’s loud. The voices inside his head, the voices around him, the  _ pain  _ that he doesn’t think will ever go away. He’s sitting on his bed, legs crossed, as he’s staring at the wall in front of him. He familiarised himself with every single crack in every single corner, and he could probably draw them perfectly if - 

 

If he would be left-handed. 

 

Chan immediately stirs his thoughts away from whatever dangerous things that came to his mind, and he goes back to observing the wall. The nurses around him look stressed, but Chan doesn’t give a fuck if he makes them feel uncomfortable. There is uncontrollable anger bubbling up inside his chest, and he knows if he talks, it’ll be loose, and possibly never retained. 

 

He can hear them whisper about the experiment.  _ Him _ . He’s a test subject, and Chan would feel offended by that fact if he wouldn’t be a soldier. He is though, and he knows that for the higher ups, he’s just a tool that can be easily thrown away once it’s broken. 

 

_ Why  _ didn’t they just throw him away then?

 

“We fixed your arm,” they said when he woke up. “It’s better than before.”

 

It  _ isn’t. _

 

He doesn’t look at the nurses when their whispers become louder, not even when their words are more harmful than any bullets the enemy shoots at him. No, he only lifts his right arm, and shoots at their feet. He hears screams that make the voices inside his head louder as well, but then suddenly there’s quiet, and he can finally relax.

 

It doesn’t register with him at first. It takes him a couple of minutes, but then he’s back to breathing heavily as he’s clutching his right arm, holding it so tight his fingers are turning white.

 

He  _ used  _ it.

 

He only had to think about it, and the shiny new metal  _ thing  _ just did it. His new  _ arm.  _

 

God, he feels so  _ inhuman.  _ He wants to rip his arm off, because he’d rather go through the pain of that again than to become something he isn’t. He doesn’t  _ want  _ to become an experiment for the war. He doesn’t want a robotic arm instead of his actual one that can turn into guns and throw grenades. He doesn’t want to feel  _ nothing _ when he touches someone, he doesn’t want someone to touch him and only feel the cool, unforgiving metal. 

 

He doesn’t want to become a  _ weapon. _

 

That’s what he is now though. He was injured in a fight, and the officials decided this would be a great opportunity to test out their experiments that Chan was so against in the first place. He feels utterly betrayed, thinking back to all those meetings where he argued that they shouldn’t do experiments on humans, but the officials reasoned that it’s only for the  _ greater _ good. Was it revenge that the experiment ended up to be him? Did the officials choose him on purpose?

 

Now Chan doesn’t have an arm, only a weapon joined to his elbow, and he’s changed to be a fighter instead of a healer. Everything has been taken away from him. 

 

_ Maybe not everything,  _ he thinks as he sees Changbin and Jisung through the glass door. Although he can see the worry in their eyes, and the way they almost seem scared, Jisung and Changbin do not fail to offer a warm smile as Chan stares. And the leader tries, tries his hardest to return the gesture, but something is stopping him, so all he can do is look and hope that his team understands. 

 

Jisung and Changbin does. Chan is so thankful that he has them as a team, because they did not give up on him even though he hasn’t been responding for weeks. They did not give up on him even when Chan had to be tied down because he was a danger to everyone including himself, and they did not give up on him even when the other was begging for them to cut his arm off again because  _ they’re going to make him into a killing machine, they’re going to take everything -  _

 

They  _ stayed _ .

 

That’s all that matters to Chan. 

 

*

 

They were getting a new member. Chan knew, deep down inside, that this was inevitable - he was now a fighter, and their team had no healer. He knew they needed another member, if not for his safety then for Jisung and Changbin, but that didn’t make him any less bitter about it. 

 

His name’s Woojin, and Chan feels nothing but pure irritation when he talks to the guy. He hides it behind sweet smiles and warm words, but there’s that underlying  _ hostility _ that everyone notices. Jisung always pouts disapprovingly when Chan shuts down Woojin’s offer to grab coffee, and Changbin shakes his head when Chan slams the door into the other’s face when he feels overwhelmed. They don’t talk to him about it though, because they know it’s something complicated that can’t be solved with some simple words.

 

Chan is annoyed because he’s annoyed at  _ himself _ . The second he saw the older step into their little dorm with his crooked smile and dishevelled hair, Chan knew that he was done for. Woojin was beautiful and  _ pure _ , despite the situation they were all in. He was caring, sweet, and most of all, he looked after Chan when he was too busy to take care of himself. It was a foreign concept for the leader, and it scared him. He’s so used to taking care of other people that there is just something uncomfortable about the fact that Woojin can force to sit him down and clean his wounds. 

 

So Chan shuts himself away, because he’s so tired, and he doesn’t know how to deal with anything anymore. He doesn’t bother trying to get to know the other because he fears that he’ll start caring too much, and then there’s no return ticket from there, only the constant fear and worry of  _ what if he gets injured, what if he won’t make it, what if, what if, what if - _

 

And Chan has lost way too many people in his life to put himself through that again. He lost way too many things that are important to him, and he can _ not  _ allow himself to fall for someone who can be so easily taken from him. 

 

He’s a weapon now. He should act like it. 

 


End file.
